i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She needs sedatives and a leash
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
COCAINE IS GR8
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
