Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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