i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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