Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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