You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
