YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
