Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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