And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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