Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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