we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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