Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
