I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
