Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
