I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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