well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize