ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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