PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
