so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
