I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
