I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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