I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize