she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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