ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
