You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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