You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
