He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
