I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
