I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
