Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
