direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
did you just send me my own nude
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
