so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize