I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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