They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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