I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hippo gnu deer
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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