i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
