I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
