my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
