it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize