the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
