u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
