i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
