can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
