I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize