Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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