your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
is wine microwaveable?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
