People with herpes should wear stickers.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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