I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
