I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
