What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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