so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
