Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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