I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
