i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
