He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
