I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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