pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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