I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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