apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
