the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
