Your tits are I can't wait for
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
