if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
