So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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